These 2 simple acts will transform your relationship – Bede Draper | EP61 recap
“Our relationship isn’t what we FEEL or THINK about it, it’s what we DO in them that determine the quality”
Today’s conversation with Bede is all about romantic relationships, whether it’s a partner or spouse, we all come up against the same challenges.
In society, we are continually sold Hollywood romance, and with an abundance of options through web dating and apps it seems that the commitment required to stay and build a healthy long-term relationship is diminishing.
My personal feeling is that we are in a society that is increasingly losing its work ethic and willingness to commit, with convenience exponentially increasing and with that “the grass greener on the other side” it seems to me that “we” as a society are starting to shape our relationships in a much more transactional nature, or we are placing a huge amount of responsibility on our relationships to give us happiness instead focusing on what we can bring to the relationship. This is a responsibility and ownership piece.
Bede and I have a great relationship and I often take counsel from him in many different areas of my life, I particularly take his counsel when it comes to my relationships and especially when it comes to my primary relationship with my partner Tilly. As he always suggests to me, “goodwill and concern” will always be the right attitude to approach my relationship, this very attitude will shift not only my own mindset but the space between me and my partner.
Bede Draper (MSc) was born in New Zealand in 1955. Raised on a farm Bede’s upbringing was not uncommon, albeit was quite privileged. Bede was fortunate to be raised in a hard-working family, with good traditional values. As a young man, he spent some years in a Roman Catholic Religious Order, studying for the priesthood. His interest in spirituality, philosophy and psychology was greatly strengthened by this experience.
What you’ll find in this episode:
(21:36) – how we as a species have fallen away from what we say and do
(36:35) – understanding our values / what we want
(43:28) – do this if you are arguing with your spouse
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